Excerpt Number Four from: ‘He Said, She Said’ - An engaging and humorous short fiction collection of Studs Terkel-style tales of faith, love, life, and sometimes, even redemption.
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WeNeedToTalk (Part Four)
Pierre: So, you want a quick fuck?
Abby: My sweet loving man.
Pierre: You are always saying we don’t do it enough.
Abby: I do say that.
Pierre: So, let’s do it.
Abby: Well…
Pierre: Well, what? Yes or no.
Abby: Well… We need to talk.
Pierre: Oh Christ. Weneedtotalk. The worst word in the English language.
Abby: Yes. But we still need to talk.
Pierre: Let me grab a drink.
Abby: Good idea.
Pierre: Double fuck.
Abby: (long pause)
Pierre: (long pause) So?
Abby: I have met someone.
Pierre: (long pause)
Abby: (long pause)
Pierre: Someone other than me?
Abby: Yes. He is a clerk in the electricity office. I see him when I pay my bill.
Pierre: So you see him once a month?
Abby: I have been inventing reasons to visit his office.
Pierre: Like pretending you received a shock? Or to ask for tips on changing fuses?
Abby: And we got to talking.
Pierre: In the lineup?
Abby: He is not in jail.
Pierre: The lineup where you pay the bill.
Abby: Oh yes. (laughs) I see what you mean.
Pierre: Praise the Lord.
Abby: And then we started going out for coffee.
Pierre: Fancy coffee or old-fashioned cream and sugar coffee?
Abby: (sighs) Just coffee. A nice shop. A little bit outside of town so no one would see us.
Pierre: Well, naturally. Who wants to be seen having a coffee in a coffee shop.
Abby: We did not want to be seen having coffee in a coffee shop together.
Pierre: I see.
Abby: I felt guilty. I will admit. But you know me. I couldn’t resist.
Pierre: I guess I didn’t know that about you. Now, is coffee the reason you are having trouble sleeping?
Abby: And before long we stopped going to the coffee shop and we started going straight to the motel.
Pierre: So, the motel has a nicer restaurant?
Abby: No.
Pierre: And I’m pretty sure they did not have room service.
Abby: No, they didn’t.
Pierre: You see? Most motels do not have room service.
Abby: Will you let me finish?
Pierre: Who’s stopping you?
Abby: My point is that we stopped consuming coffee altogether.
Pierre: And switched to tea?
Abby: And we started having… You know.
Pierre: Did it involve disrobing?
Abby: If you mean did we take off our clothing, then the answer would be yes.
Pierre: So no coffee, no foreplay, just stripped down and into the sack.
Abby: Precisely.
Pierre: And it was good? Better than lineup chit-chat.
Abby: And of course we have talked about what we want out of life. And it turns out we both want the same things.
Pierre: No coffee. More sex.
Abby: Each other, Pierre. We want each other.
Pierre: As in you and Will.
Abby: Clay.
Pierre: Pigeon.
Abby: We both agree it is time to stop moving slowly.
Pierre: You want to ramp it up.
Abby: We are going to look into getting a place together. Not too big, but big enough for Claire. And Jason. Not all the time, of course. But every other week.
Pierre: And she likes Will?
Abby: Clay. Yes, they get along well. And she doesn't mind Jason. He is a few years younger than her. But not quite as needy as you might think.
Pierre: I would not have thought any such thing. I have not had the pleasure of meeting Will’s child.
Abby: Clay.
Pierre: Pigeon.
Abby: So, there you have it.
Pierre: There I have it.
Abby: I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
Pierre: I am used to it.
Abby: Used to what?
Pierre: You hurting me.
Abby: Always joking.
Pierre: Of course.
Abby: I will update you when we firm-up our plans. Timelines and such.
Pierre: Of course. Very kind.
Abby: I am sure it is for the best.
Pierre: Who knew living with you would end up like a Tennessee Williams play.
Abby: I hope we can end things… amicably.
Pierre: Of course. What’s mine is yours.
Abby: And I have no intention of preventing my… our daughter from seeing you.
Pierre: That is good. I have no intention of allowing you to prevent our daughter from seeing me.
Abby: Of course. She loves you very much.
Pierre: Against all odds.
Abby: Okay. I am sleepy. That was difficult.
Pierre: Sorry to ruin your night. And sorry, but just to be clear...
Abby: Yes?
Pierre: The quick fuck idea is completely off the table?
* * *
Abby: Hello?
Pierre: Hi. Why are you calling me at work?
Abby: I wanted to see if I could catch you screwing your student girlfriend.
Pierre: Did it work?
Abby: Oh.
Pierre: Want to say hello? She’s otherwise engaged but a quick ‘hello’ would not be out of order.
Abby: Your lawyer called me this morning.
Pierre: They tend to do that.
Abby: He was very surly.
Pierre: That sounds like him.
Abby: Why? I haven’t done anything to him.
Pierre: I think I might have told him what you are doing to me.
Abby: We agreed. No anger.
Pierre: I’m not angry. He is.
Abby: Well, tell him to stop.
Pierre: Listen, if I call him and tell him to stop he is going to bill me for the call. I’m not going there.
Abby: Well, next time.
Pierre: Next time he’s on my dime I will bring it up.
Abby: Make sure you do.
Pierre: Maybe he was right to be surly with you, moody one.
Abby: I have to go.
Pierre: A little afternoon delight?
Abby: Whatever does that mean? I’m cooking roasted potatoes.
Pierre: You say roasted potatoes, I say afternoon delight.
Abby: I’m not going to miss these conversations.
Pierre: Yes you will.
Abby: I’m hanging up.
Pierre: Me t--