WeNeedToTalk (Part Five) (final)
An excerpt from 'He Said, She Said.'
The fifth and final excerpt from: ‘He Said, She Said’ - An engaging and humorous short fiction collection of Studs Terkel-style tales of faith, love, life, and sometimes, even redemption.
https://linktr.ee/jamesporteous
WeNeedToTalk (Part Five)
Abby: I need you to sign the divorce papers.
Pierre: Sure. Leave them in the vestibule.
Abby: I don’t know where that is.
Pierre: Ask Will to help you locate it.
Abby: Clay.
Pierre: Pigeon.
Abby: I will leave them in the mailbox.
Pierre: His or mine?
Abby: Yours, of course.
Pierre: Okay, okay. No need to be snarky.
Abby: Sign them and put them back in the mailbox.
Pierre: I’ll sign them but I’m not putting them back in the mailbox. I don’t trust that mailman. He would probably steal them and never give them back.
Abby: Why on earth would he do that?
Pierre: Ask him, not me.
Abby: Well, get this done and then you can get back to your stupid little cloud.
Pierre: Yes, dear. Are you going to live with Will?
Abby: Clay. No. We can’t live together until we are married.
Pierre: Oh dear. Is he a Mormon or something?
Abby: His mother.
Pierre: His mother is a Mormon?
Abby: No. Just old-fashioned. She does not want her son to live in sin.
Pierre: (laughs) And you two are how old?
Abby: She’s very religious.
Pierre: She’s very something. Oh jeez. She’s going to be living with you, isn’t she?
Abby: I have to go. Forms. Signed. Mailbox.
Pierre: Yes dear. Best to Mrs. Will.
Abby: It’s Mrs.--
Pierre: You still there? Hello...
* * *
Abby: Thanks for meeting me.
Pierre: Least I could do, I guess. We still share a daughter.
Abby: Yes we do. At least something good came out of all this. It wasn’t all bad, was it?
Pierre: You left me, remember.
Abby: Well, it was for the best. I have Clay --
Pierre: --and his mother--
Abby: --and you have your barely legal student.
Pierre: And her mother.
Abby: Are you ever going to grow up?
Pierre: No.
Abby: Seriously.
Pierre: My answer was seriously proof, wasn’t it?
Abby: I suppose. I just hate to think of you swimming upstream for the rest of your life.
Pierre: Okay. I will only do it for half my life.
Abby: It never changes. You and your stupid little cloud.
Pierre: SLC.
Abby: I’m glad you don’t hate me.
Pierre: I never said that.
Abby: We tried to work it out, didn’t we?
Pierre: Yes we did.
Abby: And there was no way, was there?
Pierre: There was no way. Two peas in a misbegotten pod.
Abby: Well, we will work out the weekend stuff. Jason is really looking forward to spending every other weekend with you.
Pierre: (laughs) Can you imagine.
Abby: (laughs) He wouldn’t last ten minutes.
Pierre: Midway through our first dinner he’d be on the phone with Will, pleading to be saved.
Abby: It has been a funny time, hasn’t it? All the paperwork and the lawyers.
Pierre: It was okay. We did well, I think.
Abby: I’m glad you think so. I do, too.
Pierre: Maybe we ain’t so bad after all.
Abby: We ain’t so bad after all.
Pierre: Good. I better run. I have to assign some fictitious grades.
Abby: A+, I presume?
Pierre: Oh yes. Maybe A++.
Abby: Lucky girl.
Pierre: Lucky guy.
Abby: You take care of yourself.
Pierre: Fuck off. I’ll see you Saturday.
Abby: Yes, of course. Still...
Pierre: Still. You take care, too, Abby.
Abby: Fuck off, Pierre. I will see you Saturday.
***
